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LINDISIMA Meditations


Women learn to be independent - part 2




by Imfwama Wotela
How do you get this power?

The first step in getting power is to identify your area of strength and interest and going out to get it. There are certain things in life that no one can take away from you like your education, talent, and skills, so why not aim to have these.

Every woman should aim in life to
1· Gain as much knowledge as she can by reading books or material that is both beneficial and healthy.


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2· Be computer literate because in this age you can't afford not to learn this
3·  Enroll for an evening class or an online course.
4·  Attending chat rooms, workshops or seminars on a specific area of interest, especially motivational programs.

5·  Know or learn to raise financial resources in one way or the other.
6·  Learn something new. A craft or simply how to make something out of nothing - this requires an imaginative mind.
7·  Practice a new skill in your free time, put you heart to it, and always have a dream of it becoming big.
8·  Must be innovative and not just sit at home nagging, eating, growing plump, and waiting for the man to bring home food - that is called being lazy and idle.
9·  Find or create time to do something and don't look for excuses.
10·  Put certain things on hold in order to pursue/complete your dreams or career unless you are 100% sure it won't have a negative effect on your plans in the long run.

Empowerment through knowledge is one of the gateways for a woman to be able to overcome her obstacles because knowledge is power. When you stop doing this or don't do at all, the mind has a tendency to 'age' or 'decay' and you will end up being ignorant. Remember ignorance is not a defense, so don't sit at home idle. Do something with your life. When you are empowered, even making decisions in your life becomes so much easier, as you are not limited by fear. 

Lack of empowerment causes dependency 'syndrome' among women 

Women, especially when they finally get married, tend to become relaxed and lazy to a point that they end up neglecting some of their goals and end up being totally dependant on their partners or husbands for their sustenance. It is only when they land in trouble that they realize that they should have done something with their lives. This can happen when the husband loses his job or when he dies that you see a woman really stumble and lose sight because she realizes that she took life for granted and has forgotten how to use her mind to think as she assumed the bread winner would always be there.

So ladies, matter how comfortable you may be in your present marriage/relationship, never forget that if you are consuming what you have not worked for, it is someone else's sweat and when that supply gets shut, you are doomed. Even if the man has a role to play as the provider. It's also important that you cultivate yourself into a woman with a vision. I am sure that any good man would be proud to live with such a woman and would invest in her even much more. Note: People invest where there is a potential.

I believe that it is discovering what your purpose is that will determine your altitude in life. Unfortunately, this is one weakness among many others that I have observed among women, which has put a lot of them in trouble. It is true women love to shop and require a lot of things which can not be regarded as important to the male specie, so I think it is always better to have what is yours than to keep begging for money to buy even the smallest feminine things you need. Besides being empowered, I believe it will also give you a sense of integrity, self worth, and a sense of belonging - you feel useful and valuable that you are capable of doing something productive.

Lack of Financial empowerment can make you an abuse victim 

Financial empowerment is very vital as it is one of the tools that a man can use to enslave a woman by withholding economic resources as a form of control or punishment. I realize that a human being can be cunning and unpredictable, so one does not need to take chances as some abusive tendencies are as a result of this dependency. 

One of the major reasons a woman can't leave a bad relationship is she is not financially independent. You see when a man realizes that you are totally dependant on him and he knows that you don't have any other source of income and you are not independent, it becomes a problem for you because chances of that man taking advantage of you are very high. Well, depending on how that man is like, he will start to make threats like, "I will end this relationship" or "get out of my house" every time you disagree with him even when you could be right. He may even start to make ultimatums and run your life on his terms. He will do this because he knows that you don't have anywhere to go to and you will stay because you have no other source of income. He may even use you as an excuse for his shortcomings and accuse you of spending too much money. 

Lets' have a look at the following story:

Sarah got married to Nelson right after completing her high school. She had no further training but he promised her that he would send her to college after she gave him a child. At the time it didn't bother her because he was working and had a business which was doing well plus two cars. In her mind life was looking good and this was it. 

Today 10 years later, she is looking after their 3 children and he never sent her to college like he said because he said he was doing well financially and who was going to look after the babies. He had to declare bankruptcy and they had to sell the cars in order to survive but they still had the business, which was limping. They quarreled over money almost every day and if the fights got worse he threatened that he will end the marriage saying that she has never contributed anything in their marriage and that all she ever did was spend his money and she was responsible for his losing all that he had.

When this begins to happen the woman starts to 'sink' and wonder after all the sacrifice that she made for him, this is all she got. Well girl, it's true, you need to make certain sacrifices in life but some are costly because you may never have another chance to do what you could have done. When you are independent in your mind you will take intelligent risks that will bring you benefits in the long run. So the decision you make today will bear results, say, in the next five years. Still others come out very bitter after they spend the last phase of their lives blaming the man except themselves.  Read part 1: Women empowerment



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